I never really envisioned that I would end up a realist painter.

If you had asked 20 year old me, “what do you think of realist paintings?” My response would have probably been something along the lines of, “what is the point of doing something worse, that I camera can do better and faster?”

But here I am, painting portraits that can really be described no other way. That is not to say that I went quietly down this path. I have spent a lot more time and energy coming up with ways to make my paintings more graphic, less realistic, than I would ever spend focusing on learning traditional technique.

Lately, I have been struggling with this. Feeling a bit lost with where to take my work, feeling somewhat frustrated with the paintings I have been putting out. Not to say that I don’t like the pieces that I have done recently, but it has been a while since I have finished a painting, stepped back and felt satisfied. It has been a while since I stepped back and said, “yeah, that’s it.”

Now I am posting a piece that I really am satisfied with. A piece that I am truly excited about. A piece that is, by far, the most realistic painting I have ever done.

I finally decided to take my own advice. To get out of my own way and let the painting decide how it needed to be rendered. Instead of forcing my ideas about what makes an interesting painting, onto pieces that those ideas do not make sense for.

Portrait From Web, Portrait From Life #1

Nobody ever asks hang to hang my paintings in their café, restaurant, or cooperate office. That isn’t a complaint, I think it means I am on the right path.

During my short time helping to organize shows (I am going to stop well short of calling it curating), artists would frequently ask me how their work, or the exhibition, was being being received by the people visiting the gallery. Artists are, after all, just like everyone else, they want feedback to let them know whether or not they are doing a good job. Most of the time, visitor feedback was pretty simple. People wanted to support the artists, support the space, be polite, so most of the time the feedback was something along the lines of, “Looks pretty good.” Which is not really a surprise because, most of the time, the shows looked pretty good.

Occasionally though, a show, or an artist would do something really interesting. Inevitably, in these cases 75% of the people who gave me feedback would hate it.

Most of the time, if 75% of the people offering feedback just fucking HATE what you are doing, it’s a problem. The thing is, whenever this happened, the other 25% would really love it. Beyond that, I would get double, or sometimes triple the normal amount of feedback. People were actually engaged enough to drop the polite small talk and take sides. In other words, these were the most successful pieces. Unfortunately, it was always difficult to report this exciting news back to the artists. In my eyes, this is the best case scenario for art, this is the moment when it is working. But, nobody really wants to hear that 75% of the people who saw their work didn’t get it, or didn’t like it.

I still believe that the most successful art is not the stuff that everyone seems to like, it’s the stuff that gets conversations started. The best art the stuff that, love it or hate it, motivates people to take sides.

As an artist, it can be hard to live by those beliefs at times, but I am trying. So I am going to start 2016 off by celebrating the victories I have had and thanking the people who have supported what I am doing over here.

I have had so many amazing volunteers for this series that, I’m starting to feel bad that it will take so long for them to see what comes of their images. I changed the size for this one so, I will have to rethink the last one so it fits into the final series. Hope to finish ten in this same format this year… day one, painting one.

When I started working on the painting that led to this series, I did it on a whim. I didn’t expect to be starting a new series, I didn’t expect people to get it, or for it to resonate with anyone; I just wanted a way to experiment with some new imagery and some elements of abstraction, in a way that made sense with my own version of realism.

Once I was working on the painting, I started to see that it had the potential to do more. Honestly, I was surprised with the response I got, people got it. For me, this is a total extension of the same elements I have been using for a while. The pixelated skin tones, the text, and the graphic elements of color. The same things that have earned me such a divided response in the past, have finally gone somewhere that seems to connect with a wider audience. Which, I suppose, is good (Even if it doesn’t fit into my overall theory that the response to any art worth looking at should be hated by AT LEAST half the people that see it).

Beyond that, I really started to see that this project had the potential for bigger things. People were excited to volunteer to model for the paintings and, as the reference photos started coming in, they started to reveal things more interesting than the models skin.

I think I have laid out the idea for the project a few times before but, before I go any further, let me explain what I asked of the models when they agreed to participate. I am just going to copy and paste directly from one of the emails here.

The idea is to do a painting in two panels that pair a painted translation of an image sent via text/email, with a more formal portrait done in the studio. The first image is intended to feel like a snapshot that someone would send to their romantic partner if they were out of town. So, kind of a sexy/cute photo that you take of yourself. Since I want this to feel like a private moment that is not meant to be seen by the whole world, some hints of nudity definitely help but, it doesn’t need to be anything too wild, as long as the picture feels like it was not meant for the world to see. I’ll take this image and edit it so that it looks a little bit distorted and glitched, so it feels as if it has been saved and sent many times, and then use that to make a painting. I am hoping that this will evoke feelings of lost identity and lost control of the sexual image. The identity of the model is then revealed in the more traditional portrait of the second panel, allowing her to reclaim ownership of the images of her body.

First image will be painted from a photo taken by you and emailed/sent via text to me.

Second image will be done primarily from photographs taken in the studio but, if you area available, I would like to do a couple sessions working from life.

Beyond the vague instructions that it should be a, “kind of a sexy/cute selfie” I gave the models very little instruction.

What came back was really amazing.

Despite being fairly anonymous figures with mostly hidden faces, the images were incredibly revealing about the people who took them. Everyone had very different takes on the concept, everyone took on different rolls in the photos, everyone had features they hid, and features they favored. The images did a better job of telling stories than I ever expected, they brought life to the whole project. (So, thanks for being awesome.)

Here is my first (mostly) complete full scale attempt at one of these. At the moment, I am having a hard time focusing on anything except all the small changes I want to make in my approach for next time but, I think it is getting pretty close to what these paintings need to be, in order to work. I am going to bring a lot more photo realism into the rendering of the text message image in the next one (and tone down the glitchy effects overall just a bit) so, maybe that will put it all over the top.

So far, I have had five people volunteer to help with paintings in this series. I am not sure exactly the final form for project but, I am feeling very optimistic about the project as a whole, despite the fact that I have a hard time looking past the small changes I want to make in my approach.

If anyone else wants to help out with one of these, definitely get in touch. My goal is to do at least ten of these paintings so that I might be able to hang them all together for a show.

I feel like there is probably more than one art professor out there that is going to roll their eyes at me for this one but, I am really learning a lot about what these text message paintings should be after working a few studies. I think I still want to try one more idea before I move into the full scale pieces but, here is the latest attempt in its current state. As you can see there is a bit more blank canvas to work but, I think overall it is looking pretty solid.

I’m excited to get started on a large scale attempt but I am trying to contain myself here… I still need to find a good way to integrate the look of the traditional portrait so that will make sense hanging next to this glitched looking image so, the next attempt may have to be a half scale attempt at the full diptych. Overall, I think that once I work out the bugs, this is going to be a really interesting series of paintings.

Have some down time while I wait to get moving on some new projects so, I dragged this piece back out of storage. Time to finally find a conclusion to this piece. Maybe another glitchy piece?

The warmer weather is here, which means everyone is heading out to the beach. The pace of work is slowing down and the galleries are empty… which makes it the perfect time to ramp up productivity in the studio. I am going to attempt to start the season off with a good blog post that will give a little insight into the latest sunbather painting, and then talk about what is coming next.

Like most artists, I have a lot of opinions about what makes for good and interesting art. Painters may be some of the worst when it comes to this, focusing so intensly on their own processes that they start to lose site of the value of other approaches and philosophies. Personally, I try to rise above all these squabbles and would like to think I approach all art with an open mind, regardless of medium, style, or pedigree. Unfortunately, I know that I do not always succeed. As I have become more and more focused on realist painting, I have started to develop a distaste for some works that do not fit into my own narrow ideals. I have started to discount some art unfairly without giving it the attention necessary to make a real decision.

Now, I know what you are thinking. If you are anything like me, you are already expecting to scroll past this, roll your eyes and avoid another cliched argument against abstraction by some puffed up realist painter. That is not what I’m going to do here ? people making those kinds of arguments always sound like the fools who live near our southern borders and get bent out of shape when someone is speaking Spanish. Like any serious snob, my developing art biases are hyper local. As I worked on refining my own techniques for painting, building lots of texture and brushwork into my portraits, I started to lose my tolerance for a certain variety of highly blended and perfectly smooth paintings. Not the flattened simplified stuff, and not classical realism, but somewhere in the middle there seems to be a growing trend of paintings that just feel like mediocre snapshots, without all the pesky details. The kind of paintings that look really impressive and realistic in photos online, but really fall flat on their face when you approach them in person. (Can you sense my disgust?)

In any case, I have seen the error in my ways.

As I approach my own paintings, I have realized that my personal preference for technique does not make sense for all paintings. When I was making paintings that were more closely related to traditional portraiture, the buildup of textures and loose brushstrokes made sense and was directly tied to the intent of the work. With paintings like the sunbathers, it was not really related to the message, it was an unnecessary embellishment. So as I approached this latest sunbather, I made an effort to put my ideas on interesting painting technique aside, and focus on the actual intent of the painting. The resulting painting falls somewhere in the middle. Plenty of (potentially unnecessary) detail, but a smoother more idyllic finish. As always, I am interested to hear what people think of this.

Next I am going to start two new pieces. First a collaborative portrait project with an awesome artist, where I get to throw away everything I just learned and paint like I really enjoy painting. (I will talk more about this soon). Then, I am going to dive back into the new series of portraits derived partly from images sent to me via text messages, which is what I want to talk more about now.

Let me just admit something here: I don’t like the first text message painting. I got a lot of great feedback, and as an experiment I think it was a huge success, but as a painting, I just don’t like the results. There are just too many things I want to change, too many things I would do differently, and most importantly, just too many things going on.

I like works of art that feel honest. A lot of artists make work that doesn’t feel that way to me. They make work with clever ideas and interesting jokes. They make work that takes on important subjects. But somehow, the work lacks a feeling of honesty and emotional attachment, which I think is very important. There is no question that this series of text message paintings has the potential to go either way, and I want to make sure that it end up on the right side of that divide. The real problem with my first attempt at this concept is that it was a little too much clever idea and not quite enough honest emotion. I hope to change that with the next attempt. I want to simplify the imagery and focus more on the contrasting images. I want to make the next one better and, I need some help. The first attempts used hired models which is fine, but I always prefer to work with people who are more connected to the final paintings and who have less experience being in front of the camera.

So I am looking for people who want to participate in the next round of these paintings.

I think most people that are still reading probably know the concept behind the paintings, but just in case here it is. The idea is to paint to contrasting portraits of the same person. First a more explicit image just like one that would be sent to a romantic partner (bonus points if you can recycle one that actually has been) will be painted from the photo. Second, a more formal traditional portrait will be created. If you want to long version check out this post.

If you think you have any interest in helping, get in touch and I will fill you in on the rest. The naughty parts can be done in the privacy and comfort of your own home. I don’t need to or want to be there (and the photos don’t actually have to be that naughty), but I would need to be able to get to you to do the traditional portrait.

Is everyone disappointed now that I got through that entire post without using the word sext?

Answered a few questions in preparation for The Artists Gaze show. Head to the Poets & Artists website to check it out.

https://www.poetsandartists.com/magazine/2014/12/27/the-artists-gaze-nick-ward

EDIT: A lot of the links to this site seem to be dead, or moving, so I will re-post the text below.

What compels you to the specific women you choose to paint?

When do you know you have made a significant connection to your subject and what does that feel or look like from your perspective?

I am going to approach these two question in tandem, because I think the answers play into each other.

A majority of the people I paint are close friends who have volunteered so, I would say that a significant connection with the subject is more of a pre-requisite, rather than something that is occurring during the process of painting. These are people that I already know are interesting and, there is already a level of trust established that makes the whole process a lot more rewarding for everyone involved. Since the paintings are all based in portraiture, I do tend to prefer people with strong, interesting, or expressive features but, I am mostly trying to find people who are interested and excited to be a part of the process.

Beyond that, I have found that more experienced models do not give me what I am looking for. They tend to be too good at the job, knowing exactly how to deliver a pose or emotion, which lacks some of the honesty that the situation brings out of someone less experienced.

What is it about your personal journey that has brought your gaze to focus so deeply on women.

I am not sure I have a really good answer for this. I have always been fortunate enough to have a lot of really interesting women in my life so, obviously that has played into it. Like I said, I am relying on the helpful people in my life volunteering themselves to become the subjects of these paintings. A lot of the choices are being made for me based on who is interested in playing a role in these stories that the paintings want to tell. The fact that women are a lot more comfortable and willing to take on this role probably says a lot more about society in general than it does about my personal journey.

Why this visual dialogue? What do you hope to accomplish through your work?

I really hope that the paintings are interesting and can communicate some interesting stories in a way that is accessible to a lot of different people. I love portraiture because EVERYONE is so used to analyzing faces. It is hard wired into us through generations of evolution so, even people that have no art knowledge, can really get something out of the paintings and have a strong reaction. At the same time, I try to bring a lot of subtle messages and painting technique into the pieces so that, hopefully there is still a lot there for people who know a bit more art history and want to look a little more deeply. I really feel like there are not enough artists trying to bridge the gap between intellectual work, and just more
simple beautiful visuals so, I am trying to do what I can to put my money where my mouth is and make something that fits into that space.

Tell us about your current series or work and how it may be different from the work submitted for the show.

I have talked a lot about really wanting to use models that I know and am familiar with but, the next series of paintings is going in a completely different direction. I am not entirely sure if this is going to work yet, it may be a terrible idea for a series of paintings but, I will lay it out here for everyone today anyway (a scary prospect).

Since there seems to be an endless supply of scandals as peoples most personal images are being stolen from their cell phones or cloud accounts, and more and more common for private moments to live in public, online forever, I thought this would be an interesting subject to play with. So, I put out a call for images. Instead of turning to my usual models, I invited strangers to send me, via text or email, an image. I asked them to send me an image that mimics the sort of image they would send a lover, except it should be cropped to not entirely reveal their face. After selecting the best images, I did everything I could think of to degrade the digital image files. I wanted to simulate the corruptions and distortions that digital images take on when they are widely shared and saved repeatedly. Now, I am taking these images and adding one final level of distortion, by translating them into paintings.

Once these paintings are complete, I will have the models come in to the studio, and sit for a more traditional portrait that will, obviously, reveal their faces and their identity.

Hopefully these two panels will be an interesting contrast when hung next to each other. The paintings are not far enough along to share yet but, they will be soon!

Like a lot of artists, I have spent many hours thinking about (worrying about) how to make a living with my talents. I am far from an expert here but, I think that it is generally accepted that best paths are either, get a job that is somewhat related to art, or find a gallery to sell your work. Since my drive to make art is a whole hell of a lot stronger than my drive to stand around talking about it, teaching was out and, those thoughts drifted towards the ideal gallery situation for my art.

For a long time, I always came to the same conclusion. I can do just about everything that any gallery that would take me is offering.

Now, before we go any further with this, let me give a little background on that decision and, for those of you who think that I am foolhardy, stick around until the end. In my relatively short time attempting to be a professional artist, I have done pretty well on my own. For the last few years, most of my income has come from art. I am pretty far from being able to quit my day job but, to the point where I can spend a majority of my time in the studio. Even better, I have managed to get some good press and put my art in front of a lot of peoples eyes. This isn’t written here to brag, just to outline some things that I have been able to do for myself, no gallery required. This isn’t written here to brag, just to let you know what I was thinking when I started asking, for 50% of the money, what am I going to gain?

And there is the problem. When you are relatively unknown, like I am, galleries obviously don’t want to take too much of a risk on you. Most of my talks with galleries have reflected this. They want to try out a few small pieces, which is completely understandable but, at the same time, my ability to sell small pieces has already outpaced my drive to make them. I was not looking for a gallery to dip their toe into the shallow end to see how it felt, I was looking for someone to help me make the leap into consistently selling larger, more elaborate pieces. So, my decision has always been to build the foundation myself. In other words, I wanted to continue keeping all the money until someone noticed how awesome I was and was willing to let me skip past the whole development phase. It should go without saying but, when you have minimal bills and a landlord who gives you a little leeway on the late rent, you can afford take some risks and see what works…

Recently though, I have begun to see the error in my ways. At this point in my life, I have a wife, a house, even a little orange dog. I think it is safe to say I am an grown up and, being a grown up with other living things relying on me means I can not always spend as much time in the studio as I used too. Doing all the work myself was great when I was focused only on being an artist but, it was also a hell of a lot of work and took up most of my time and energy. Like a caveman, or a used car salesman, if you don’t kill, you don’t eat. Sometimes cuddling up on the couch with my wife and little orange dog is just more appealing than hustling out in the studio.

Which brings me to the point when I realize what everyone else already knows.

There are a lot that goes into being an artist. Obviously, you have to create art. But that is really only a small part. If you want to have any chance at supporting yourself, you also have to do all sorts of things that really come down to getting your art in front of an audience. You have to get your work included in shows. You have to write about art. You have go out into the world and meet people who care about art. You have to do a lot of things that are not creating art. If you are someone who has already made the foolish decision to make art as a career I don’t have to tell you this but, when you suddenly find yourself with less time available to devote towards all these aspects of being an artist, there is one thing that is not going to be cut from that list. That is the actual creation of art. For better or worse, everything else is optional.

And this is what I was missing about what galleries were offering me. They were offering my art a place to continue to grow when I was busy living my life. I know this is pretty obvious and seems simple but, it is hugely important. I was looking for someone who could help take my career to the next level, which would have been great but, equally important is someone who could maintain all that I had worked for when my focus had to be elsewhere.

When I started writing this post, I expected the end to feel a lot more dramatic but really, it was a simple lesson that I feel foolish for overlooking for so long. In any case, I am back in the studio, back to hustling and attempting to regain the momentum that I lost this year while I was off being house broken.

Expect a lot more art related rants and stream of conciseness blog posts in the near future (along with some announcements about upcoming shows). For now, be sure to head over to Sloane Merrill Gallery where I have some new small and affordable pieces in their 10×10 show that opens this Saturday.

Until recently, I never considered the impact of my studio space on the art I make. I didn’t have too. I had a big space, with easy access, in a building that housed a lot of other artists. Unfortunately, progress stops for no one and, eventually the time came when I had to leave that that big open studio space behind so it could became a few, smaller, fancier, more expensive apartments.

With that space gone, I took another space in the building. It could only be accessed by a tight stairwell that restricted the size of work I could do, and it was a bit more expensive but, it was big, open, and I didn’t have to leave the building of artists behind so I jumped right in and continued working.

Unfortunately, that space was a little rough, and the price kept creeping up so, late last year it was time to leave that studio behind to look for greener (less expensive) pastures. That search took me through four studios in the last year or so and, as a result my work really started to suffer. I started to understand the importance of having a good space to work in and saw the impact of different situations in the paintings that I was doing. During this period of studio chaos, one painting came along for the ride and saw the effects of all 4 spaces. It started out in a space that I was settled and comfortable. With good light and lots of space. It moved with me into a dark, dirty, cold basement studio that I just could not convince myself to visit during the warm summer days. It followed me when I fled to the outskirts of town to work in a little garage and it finally settled into a tiny spare room in my new house with me. It started big and bold and loosely painted, it took on strange colors when I worked in bad light and it became more realistic when the space was too cramped to step back.

Somehow, the painting ended up looking pretty good. It is definitely a little different from similar pieces I have done in the past but, I am betting that a lot of you might think it is a step forward.

Normally this is the part of the post where I would reveal the final piece but, in this case, it will be heading out to a show and they have asked me to keep it under wraps for now… but I just can’t resist giving a little teaser.

If you want to see it go through a lot of changes, some strange color choices, and a bunch of different studios check out my instagram page where I have posted some progress shots of the piece over the last few months.

For now, there is a happy ending to this story, I am settled in to the tiny little spare room studio in my new house, taking the opportunity to work on some smaller pieces while I try to figure out, what makes a good studio and, where can I find or build one in this city.